Vais voltar? Se disseres que sim, eu espero. Se disseres que vens, eu fico. Se disseres que queres, eu quero. E prometo que te deixo a porta aberta.
Deixo-te a porta escancarada, Para que chegues sem entraves, Para que chegues sem demoras, Para que venhas sem desculpas, Sem perguntas, Só respostas.
Até estendo passadeira vermelha, (Ou azul, se preferires), Para que saibas a direção, Para que tenhas a certeza de que te quero aqui, Para que regresses sem hesitação, Sem qualquer dúvida da minha vontade. e que nunca te diria que não.
Só não me peças que seja eu, por favor. Não peças que seja eu a ir, Não ponhas esse passo em mim, Que não fui eu quem fugiu, Não fui eu quem desistiu Não fui eu que pedi o fim. Por minha vontade ficávamos e seríamos, Mas tu foste, mesmo assim.
Mas ainda acredito, sabes? E ainda quero que voltes.
Se voltares, eu recebo-te. Recebo-te de alma e coração, Recebo-te de braços abertos, De regaço disponível, De olhos brilhantes, E o todo mais que for possível.
E até posso ir contigo depois: A sério que vou! (como sempre fui) Mas só depois de vires tu.
Tens a porta aberta, Entrada mais que disponível, Para que saibas que podes mesmo voltar, Para que possas vir e não querer ir mais, Para que possas vir, rir, entrar e ficar.
Não garanto esperar para sempre, O tempo urge, A vida voa, O futuro ecoa, As coisas mudam de repente, E eu não sou assim tão paciente.
Mas, para já, ainda quero. (Quero muito.) E garanto que ainda te espero, E até prometo que me esmero, para não voltarmos a ir.
Subi as escadinhas que davam até à tua porta e toquei à campainha como se fosse a primeira vez.
Era inevitável não me arrepiar ao chegar ali e em pensar em todas as hipóteses e histórias que se viveram e não poderiam esperar do outro lado da porta... estarias como eu? Eu tremia por dentro, vibrava de vontade de te abraçar, tinha o coração a mil com toda a conversa que nos levou até este ponto, tinha um aperto no peito com a possibilidade de estares a precisar tanto de mim como eu de ti, naquele instante.
Abriste a porta e olhámo-nos de alto a baixo como se fosse a primeira vez que nos víamos – talvez fosse a primeira vez que alguém realmente nos via em muito tempo. Segui-te como se estivesse nos corredores de um museu, um caminho que parecia um labirinto, entre umas paredes que se sentiam demasiado estreitas para a tensão e ansiedade que estava a gritar dentro de mim. Deixei-te levares-me onde me querias, deixei-te guiares-me pelo espaço, como achavas melhor. A minha ignorância do que fazer contigo (connosco) era demasiada! E não estava a conseguir ignorar, de todo, a vontade de te agarrar, de te acalmar, de te encostar ao meu peito: sem prudência, sem jeito, sem trejeitos, sem medos, ou desconceitos, ou segundas intenções.
Cada passo que davas, puxava-me mais para ti e tu, aí do teu canto, se calhar nem percebias. Estarias como eu?
Era inevitável não gostar de toda aquela situação. De toda aquela história que estavamos a criar quase de repente, quase sem querer, como se fosse a primeira vez.
E, de repente, tu paraste e viraste-te para mim. Olhaste-me de alto a baixo e viste-me como se nunca ninguém me tivesse visto, como se eu fosse a única pessoa à face da terra, parecias estar a estudar cada um dos meus traços, dos meus cantos, parecias decorar cada um dos meus sinais. Arrepio na espinha. Senti-me como se me estivesses a criar à medida que os teus olhos percorriam cada milímetro meu e eu ia aparecendo diante de ti, despida de noções e teorias. Senti o meu corpo aparecer como nunca, e senti a minha alma derreter aos teus pés. Senti-me como se finalmente alguém me visse – alguém me quisesse ver. Arrepio na nuca. Estarias como eu?
Estendeste-me a mão, e a minha não se inibiu nem um pouco em aproveitar o embalo. Puxaste-me para ti, assim que os teus dedos sentiram os meus. Os nossos corpos esbarraram como se fosse a primeira vez e senti mais um arrepio em mim, que desta vez levou exatamente o mesmo percurso que os teus olhos tinham feito momentos antes. Agora sim, era inevitável não gostar de toda aquela situação... Sensação. Os meus sentidos cruzaram-se dentro de mim: euforia, harmonia, sinfonia, poesia. Vi o filme da minha vida diante dos meus olhos, naquele instante. Vi todo um futuro desenhado pela minha imaginação e adivinhei cada toque, cada carinho, cada palavra silenciosa que se seguiu. Estarias como eu?
Despedimo-nos da vida, da rotina e do dia. Despimo-nos de nós . Focámos no ninho que tinhamos encontrado um no outro - e não importava o tempo lá fora. Ouvia-se chuva, ouvia-se vento e trovoada: sentiamos sol, sentia-te Sol. Fogo. Escutámos silêncio, escutámo-nos no silêncio. Dançámos corredor fora: descoordenados, como quem não sabe dançar (e não faz ideia do que vai acontecer) mas tão sincronizados! Embebedámo-nos um no outro (um do outro). Mergulhei nesses olhos que pareciam ver-me por dentro, que pareciam querer ler-me por completo. Tropecei, quase sem querer em ti e aterrei, sem proteção, em tudo o que éramos naquele momento. Fechei os olhos e segui guiada pelo magia do inesperado.
Não sabia o que viria dali. Tu saberias? Terias estudado tudo, como me estudaste a aura?
Eu não fazia ideia... mas aquela dança desmedida de olhares, aquela sintonia de arrepios, aquela explosão de sentidos, auguravam tudo de bom.
Just a little bit longer, please. A moment more, I swear it will be fast.
I just need a bit more: a last word, a last kiss, a last touch, a last hug. Just a few seconds, please. Give me just one more glimpse, a smile, a walk, some cuddles. Give me just one more call, one more message. Give me one more dinner, a slice from a pizza we ordered in a rush, one more cookie... just a bite. Give me one more date: should we drink coffee? One cup more only. A sip, maybe? A little tiny sip...
Pause us. Keep us. Hold on to us. Give me just an instant more. A no-way-back walk by me, to you. Then I will return to me, but I will have you with me. I promise to arrive and don't leave. I promise to stay. I promise you my existence. I promise to you the "yets", the "everythings" and "alls", the "forevers". I promise you sweet, intense, permanent words. I promise you long kisses upon arrival, and bigger ones during the soon-ending "goodbyes". I promise to you the night-long touches. I promise no reason hugs just because, and heartening hugs as needed. I promise I will always see you. I promise to remember your glances, your smiles, and the Sunday afternoon cuddles.
Give me what you never gave me before. Let me give you as much as I have to offer you. Give me just a little bit more, and I will give you everything I can, so you will want to share everything you have for me.
Then I will give you all the time in the world. Actually, I will give you my own world. I just need a little longer... Do you mind giving me some more minutes, please? Some hours, maybe... there's so much to do - a gigantic world to live in, a whole kiss for us to be in.
Linger here: stay longer... on my behalf, for those lips - and everything else - I will stay with no hesitation! There's so much that I still want to show you, so much to unveil! Stay just some time more, it is still early! Don't go yet, I barely saw you - I barely felt us and want us so badly. Just stay here, ok? At least for a moment more: give me a little bit more of you. Give me a little bit more of us - some days more, maybe. Maybe I am being too bold, as time is something so valuable... But would be a lot to ask you for some months more? It is not that much, I believe... and forgive me my madness, but every time I think of you, I want you a little bit more. I want us a little bit more - a sip from what was not that perfect, but was good enough to love.
Give me a little bit more of us: I was wondering, perhaps, for some years more... and then you just lie here for the rest of our life, pretending we mind that. I really just want a sip more: a sip from the "yesses" and from the "likes". A sip from your oh-so-good intuition - because we both know mine doesn't work that way. A sip from a dream not this short, a sip from a moment that lasts, a sip from a "once upon a time" that can be turn into a "forever" straight away.
Give me a little bit more of us, a little bit more of this, because it was gone in a blink of an eye. Give me just a sip more of us... you in a sip, please.
Sometimes difference is what brings people together.
A little difference never hurt anybody: it may be difficult sometimes, but is not impossible.
And definitely, is not about the differences.
Is about what brings you together: the joy that you share, the happiness that makes life brighter , the funniest conversations, the excitement of seeing each other every time, the shared secrets - that no one else knows, the inside jokes no one else understands - or sees, the shiniest shiny eyes, the trembling souls - unconditionally, unexpectedly and unpredictably souls, the flare (the flare you had, the flare you share, the flare you make together, since ever, and that no one else will be able to light up)... Is about how great your bright is when you're together - as a vampire in the sun, glittering all around.
It doesn't matter how different you both are, but how you choose to share and combine those differences. It doesn't matter how different you both are, but how great you are together - how you amazingly work together and how your bodies laugh and dance and sing and trill when they are together.
It doesn't matter how different you are, but how much you complete each other and how strong you become for sharing, combining and overcoming those differences.
It's not about your differences, but how much your path looks alike. How much your souls are mates, how much your hearts are attuned .
It's about being free, together. It is about being different, but having both of your hearts with the same beat. Is about having each other in common. Is about shared goals, shared memories, shared glances, a shared history and a shared landscape. Is about the best dream ever, coming true and the most important feelings coming together from you.
You just have to choose.
Choose wisely. Don't jeopardize those amazing things. Be happy.
They think they know. They think seeing us is enough to know. But they don't know: they know nothing! It doesn't even cross their mind.
If they knew, maybe it would be different, maybe they would act differently, maybe things would be different, they would see things differently and maybe, then, the world would conspire in another way.
They think they know, that only seeing is enough, but they know nothing at all. They don't even imagine!
If they knew, maybe they would make the world spin in our favor, maybe they would join forces for us, maybe they would conspire our definitive reunion, maybe they would push us into our final reconciliation. If they knew, maybe there would be a written biography by someone, that would become famous thanks to it. Maybe it would suit as a fairytale. Some years later, if they knew, maybe some movie would be released, in a major event, with all due pomp and circumstance. Maybe it would become a classic. And then, everyone would know... or, at least, they would think they knew. As if listening was enough to know. But they wouldn't know: they would never know! It wouldn't even cross their mind.
They would never know how it happened: everything we lived before the first time we saw each other, or how we got there - to that meeting point, to that point in our history.
They would never have the tiniest idea how much our hearts were controlling themselves when we first glanced at each other, they would never have the tiniest idea of what our hearts guessed the first time we got closer, of what they shared during our silent smiles, of what our hearts knew about each other. I think not even we knew what was going on between the two of us: about our heart beats as they were singing in tune the most beautiful ballad; about each and every single curve, vein and shade of ours, as if they were about to lose themselves in each other's arms and they could do it without a map. I think only they really know what happened to us.
If our hearts would speak, only from them we would know the ultimate truth: only them would describe exactly every single freed feeling, chill felt, smile shared, exchanged gaze, every single tight hug, word said, impulse held and yielded wish. If our hearts would speak, then there would be a way for the world to have a slight idea of what was left to say and left to feel, of what was said over and over again and was never enough.
And we did it so many times, and it seems like it wasn't enough: the words said, the gestures, the glances, the words, the touches, the chills, the words, the wishes, the words, the dreams... And everything would be easier if they were kept on going. And the world doesn't know: the world doesn't have the tiniest idea of what it was (and of what it is). It has no idea of what we were (what we are, what we want to be).
And they think they know. They really think they know. Ridiculous world, that thinks will manage to understand it somehow. Stupid world, that thinks someday will know. They don't know: they know nothing! They cannot even imagine!
Probably, not even we know. Really, I think not even we knew. We couldn't, because everything was gone so fast - life ran too much and was so different. I think
They knew and they are stubborn, punishing us. Punishing us for letting them down.
I think if they would speak, only from them we would know the truth: only them would know how to confess, without messing us up, what we were, what we are and what we could be, if the world would know just a little, if the world would help just a little, if life would be our complicit.
The world doesn't know, the world only fakes it - and it is bad at faking it. And time passed by, and no one will ever know... and we won't ever know, we will just wait for our hearts: we will wait for them to speak, to see each other, to touch each other, to cross each other again, some day. We will wait they will dream about each other. I hope they still want each other!
And the world will never know... but maybe we will... maybe one day, around there... maybe today, or tomorrow. Maybe they will be synchronized the day after tomorrow.